Marketing and First Guest Blog: BumbleBear Stolen!

As you can see, my generous supporters and believers have started a marketing campaign for my blog. The new tagline is "Better than Being Blackout" because, frankly, anytime with me is better than that. Even when I am at that point, it is just better. I will be sure to thank Michael Taylor Reynolds when I accept my first Oscar, because he is my newly appointed Marketing/PR/Bad Ass DJ. MTR is a friend who I really did not like at all when I first met him. He claims that he overheard me saying "I can't act like I "like" him by flirting". This was when we had the title roles of Cory and Topanga in Boy Meets UT. If you missed it, you missed one of the best plays of all time. Like I said before, my performance, and probably MTR's, would have earned a Tony nod. Well I don't believe I ever said this until I really thought about it, and you see, at the time, I was cooler than he was, so I probably did say it. But one afternoon we discovered our friendship by riding in the back of a UT van to Gallatin, in which MTR hogged all the room and I almost threw up seven times. We have been pals since. MTR likes sweet tea, Tila Tequila, blondes, and iced teas from long island. He once gave me a concussion, which was magical in the face that he reversed my entire personality for 48 hours. As some like to say "He put a spell on me."

And now...time for my first guest blog: This is an article from an anonymous author, Knowing Knox, who will keep the latest gossip from Knoxville abreast on my blog. The first entry is about the disturbance of the missing Bumble Bear from the library:

I was driving through the University of Tennessee campus the other day and as soon as I got to the Spam Can I felt like something was missing. I made a quick U turn in the Greve Horseshoe and drove back down the rode. Luckily the light was red, so I was able to stop in front of the library. That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks; UT’s ugliest icon was missing. At first, I was a little sad at the Bumble Bear’s disappearance because the icon helped a directionally challenged person, like me, navigate around campus. Did the University of Tennessee finally take it down, or did the city of Knoxville take it away? I decided right then and there to find out what exactly happened, and I was shocked when I learned the truth. The Bumble Bear was stolen! I had two questions when I found this out. The first, why would anyone want the Bumble Bear? And the second, how in the world was someone able to take such a gigantic object from one of the most well lit spots on campus without being caught? That thing was hardcore/ straight up stuck to the side of the library, yet someone managed to lift the object from campus. Congratulations to the culprits. Now that such a UT symbol is missing maybe UT athletics can find some generosity in their hearts and use the revenue that they collect from student football tickets to buy campus a new beloved Bumble Bear. I have heard rumors thought that if you get blackout enough the Bumble Bear will reappear at a random house on campus, and I have even heard rumors that the mysterious owners will let you ride the Bumble Bear for free. I have yet to experience this, but I have heard that a few people have allegedly experienced the joy of riding the Bumble Bear. Maybe after a fun night at Hanna’s and a few “mind erasers” from Cool Beans, I too will get to experience the joy. Until then, props to you mysterious Bumble Bear thieves, and may your legend live on.

Thank-you Knowing Knox. I know some of us may sleep a little better at night, and some a little worse, about knowing that this prized article was stolen. Props to those who did take it, but it scares me a little to think what will fall victim next: Europa and the Bull? The Rock? Crack down on fakes at Hanna's? Only time will tell.